I was watching a movie on Amazon Prime last night called Brittany Runs a Marathon. Odd title I know but late at night I'm not too picky over movie choices. It was actually a good movie that addressed many of the social and emotional aspects of being overweight and trying to lose weight. So in this movie, Brittany's friend said the phrase "little goals".. and that really stuck in my mind.

So many times when we look to make a change to our bodies or our diet or our lifestyle, we 

>>> stand there looking at this big mountain and become overwhelmed and discouraged. This instantly makes us drop the idea all together.

Take your eyes off of the mountain. If you go into anything focused on the enormity of the undertaking, you immediately drain any passion or enthusiasm that you may have had to get started. You need that passion and enthusiasm. That is your fuel!
Instead, know what the big goal looks like but then zoom back out to the very next step in front of you. If you can do that, you are winning the greatest part of the mental game. If the mind is allowed to become overwhelmed, then forget about it. Your plans are doomed. Your mind won't support them. However, if you can keep your mind from focusing on anything except one doable step... bingo!!! Of course, this is more difficult than you may think. Our minds love to wander off into the future and overwhelm and frustrate themselves quite often. You will have to be a vigilant caretaker of your mind during the "get my new habits started" phase.

Little Goal #1- Start 3 New Habits.
Habit 1- Keep your minds focus zoomed in and don't allow it to even look at the mountain.
Stop and think what your first step should be and start. Do it. Don't wait until all of the circumstances are perfect and well planned. Do it. Do it after you finish reading this. Do it sloppy. Do it messy. Make mistakes. Look like an idiot. Embarrass yourself..but do it. Maybe it's touching your toes 10 times, or trying. Maybe it's standing with your arms out and twisting in place for 60 seconds. Maybe its finding that big water jug and filling it up and putting it beside you on the couch. Just do something.

Habit 2- Read something every day for 7 days about healthy food and exercise. Look at other peoples before and after pictures. Research exercises that look fun. Watch YouTube Videos about peoples weight loss journeys. This is your fuel. You need fuel to power up enough to create change. Don't skip setting up this habit. If you are reading this you already are on some device with internet access. Start googling.

Habit 3- Do one thing different this week consistently. Take one thing that you learned during habit 2's research and inspiration step and do it everyday for 7 days. If you allowed your mind to look at the mountain and talk you into skipping a day.. it's ok.. refocus. Realize your mind took it's focus off of the single step, looked at the mountain, whined "toooooo harrrrrrd", you listened to it and did nothing. You forgot to redirect your mind to today's step. Now decide it's never too late to pick that foot up and take that step. There is no expiration date on next steps. You never use up all the next step opportunities. Take it. Then take it again.. and again.. and again. 

An unsettled mind is an afraid mind.
An unsettled mind is a direct threat to your peace.
​If you fall into the problem finding category of mind habits, you know that when your mind is up in the air on a topic, it will begin to spin, obsess, search, etc.. until it gets the answer it needs. If it is depending on an "answer" in order to settle, it could take awhile and it is possible that there is no answer to be found. During that while, you will feel unrest, unsettled, confused, upset, restless and frustrated. The topic in question will soon consume all of your thoughts causing your mind to become lost inside the confusion.

So what do we do when our mind receives information that worries or upsets it and sets off the domino affect of this mental habit?

It's time to step in. You will need to step into the strong role of the caretaker and give your mind an intervention. 
You know the deep pit of despair it will take you into if you ignore it and allow it to set off on it's search for information.

Why does It do this? It Is afraid and trying to stay safe. It thinks if it can somehow figure out the future or uncover information that it does not yet know, then it will have everything that it needs to control and avert disaster.. emotional disaster that is. However, in this quest to avoid emotional disaster, it begins to create the very thing it is attempting to avoid.

Ask yourself, Is my mind doing this for emotional reasons? Is it using its detective, problem solving gifts in the emotional world. Is it trying to meet it's on need for safety? If yes, help get it out of there. How?

Stay with the facts. Set your mind back on the path within the logical world. Keep the Future Room and the People Room and the emotional world off limits to this mind. Help it redirect it's focus on things it knows to be true.. things that are certain or stable.
I personally have this type of mind. I often think I should have pursued a career as a detective or worked for the CIA or something. My mind has a super suspicious nose for emotional danger and because I didn't know how to care for it, has held me in much emotional suffering. Trying to fix the unfixable and solve the unsolvable will drive this mind insane.

It helps me to visualize two paths.
One path goes into a deep ocean. Here there are emotions, instability and unsolvable, uncontrollable constantly changing people and situations. This is incredibly overwhelming to the problem solving mind if it thinks it's supposed to fix, change, and avoid what is in the ocean. Nothing can be solved or stay solved here in the emotional ocean. Your mind will constantly stay unsettled and busy trying to fix unfixable things and control uncontrollable forces here.

The other path stays on stable dry land, where there is clarity and certainty. Here there are fixable things. Once fixed, they stay fixed. Once solved, they stay solved. This is the physical tangible world...not the emotional world.
Yes your mind will always pursue making it's creations even more efficient and constantly improve on them.. but this is healthy. Your mind will thrive in this type of environment. This environment is concrete and non emotional. This is where your mind can change and control things and use it's strength for good.

This is the only path for a problem solving mind. It must stick with the facts and keep it's energy in the physical world. This kind of mind can become very lost, very sick, and very unstable if allowed to go in the ocean for the purpose of fixing it. 

I'm not saying that if you have this type of mind, you should never have or show emotions. Emotions are normal and healthy. What I am saying is that your mind shouldn't try to avoid emotions, change, or pain by using its problem solving gifts as a form of control. No matter how smart our mind is, it can never stop, change, or control a force like the ocean, Emotions are coming. Don't run. Don't be afraid. It's just the ocean. It's normal for the tide to come in and sweep us up in it. Just lay on your back and let it float you to your next chapter, with whatever and whoever that may be. Then direct the energy of your problem solving mind on things you can create and control. 

Two Things Need to Happen to Tidy Your Mind.

ONE. Release Deep Pain.
Although your mind may tell you that this is an impossible task and you will just be broken or messed up forever because of a past experience, it is not true. Deep pain is usually only 20% of the reason your mind is creating emotional suffering. See, it's never as big and bad as your mind makes it out to be.

HOW: You can start with the Learn to Tidy and Relax Your Mind Course and also work with me One on One to work through deep pain.

TWO. Break Bad Mental Habits.
Our mind develops some destructive mental habits in efforts to get it's needs met as a child. You are also genetically predisposed to think a certain way and make certain assumptions that can result in bad habits. Bad Mental Habits make up the other 80% of the cause for your mind creating emotional suffering. This is actually good news as helping your mind step away from these habits usually only takes awareness of them and consistent redirection.

HOW: The NeverMind Blog is designed to help you find your habits and help you step away from them.. to retrain your mind to think and behave in a different way. It will also help you to understand the minds of those you are in relationship with.. and how they think very differently to you...and this is normal. Just as there are different body shapes, the minds that go with those shapes all have a unique way of thinking and perceiving the world around them. Here are the 3 Mind Habit Categories.

1. Never Satisfied- Sensors & Crusaders
2. Problem Finding- Activators & Connectors
3. Trust Issues- Guardians & Diplomats

"I wish I didn't care what others thought of me."
"I wish I could stop doubting myself."
"I wish I could stop people pleasing."
"I wish I could just be myself around anyone and everyone."
"I wish I could be free to be my authentic self."
"I wish I could just relax around others."

You don't feel safe enough to experience the above mentioned yet.
Why? You have made everyone else's thoughts and opinions of you higher than or more important than.. more valuable than your own opinion of you.
You see others as the adult or the authority. This is pointing to a the Caretaker part of your mind, not quite stepping into adulthood yet. You may also have a fear of mistakes...meaning you don't feel safe to make your own mistakes yet. You've yet to allow mistakes to become an acceptable part of life. 


You also don't trust you yet.
What does that mean?
If you look at your mind in 2 parts.. one being the inner child part, the other being the parent or caretaker part.. the inner child doesn't trust the caretaker and the caretaker doesn't trust the inner child.
The inner child is loud, direct, honest and can also have adopted many bad habits to get its needs met.
Your inner child is more than ready to be it's true self around everyone.
The caretaker is supposed to be the confident adult, but may not have grown into that yet.
This is the people pleasing part of your mind. The part that is afraid of rejection, judgement, criticism, and making mistakes. The one looking to others for the answers when it should be confident in it's own thoughts and opinions. This behavior of the caretaker angers the inner child part and it will act out.
The caretaker is embarrassed by the behaviors of the inner child part and tries to suppress it.
You can see there is a war here instead of a union. This is a dysfunctional relationship between YOU and YOU.

What's the Fix?
 1) Help your Caretaker grow up and embrace adulthood. Some of you are avoiding being responsible for yourself...because being responsible means owning mistakes.. and you are still afraid of mistakes. It's easier to just hide behind insecurity or other people.

 2)  Help the Caretaker part overcome it's fears of rejection, judgement, criticism, and mistakes. This will require looking into your past experiences..or "basement" work. 

 3)  Create a sense of calm and security within yourself by strengthening your YOU and YOU relationship.

Need step by step instructions on how to accomplish these 3 important milestones in your growth?
Pre Register for the upcoming course Grow Me Up- Helping your Mind Step into Maturity.

Are you really being mistreated or are they just not doing what your mind wants and expects.

Let’s define mistreatment. 
You are actually being mistreated if you are suffering physical, mental, or emotional abuse. 

We all know what physical abuse looks like. 
Mental and Emotional abuse can be a bit of a grey area for our minds, but let’s try to define it. 
Here are a few behaviors that you should protect your mind from. Name calling, bullying, emotional manipulation (punishing you with silence) gas lighting (trying to confuse your mind and make it question itself or think it is crazy or misreading things) attacking, blaming, shaming, guilting, etc. 

This type of behavior is their little mind trying to get its own needs met by you.. by using every trick and game it can think of.
It wants to feel a certain way, and by doing these behaviors to your mind, it get’s it’s needs met or tries to get them met while your little mind is being abused. 

You may have just read this and thought.. oh God.. I do some of these things to others. Yes, most of us have. 
Why? Because our minds are trying to get their needs met from another person and it will do whatever it takes.. even if it means hurting another mind. If you are doing these behaviors to the mind of someone you love. stop. Take sometime and work with your mind. Learn to Tidy and Relax your mind is a good place to start. If another mind is doing these things to you, protect your mind. That doesn’t always mean leave them. Sometimes all it takes to protect your mind is just staying aware of what they are doing and why they are doing it. That abusive behavior is coming from a mind in pain, in fear, in need. that they are not caring for.

No one is going to do everything your mind wants and expects.. 
but it doesn’t mean they don’t love you.. 
it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be with them. 

What it really means is that your mind is still looking to other people to get its needs met instead of looking to you. 
It may also mean that you have a mind that has a “never satisfied” habit that needs to be broken. 

If you are looking for and waiting on perfection in a relationship with another person.. 
I’m sorry to disappoint you, but the reality is.. that doesn’t exist. 

Despite what your mind tells you because of what it has seen on tv of the movies it watched as a kid, there are no perfect relationships. 

However, the closest you can come to that is the relationship between you and you.  
You are the only one who is going to love and tolerate your little needy mind enough to tell it what it wants to hear.. to give it what it wants to have to be satisfied. Just you. 

Other people can truly love us..but they have their own little needy mind that needs cared for..

No matter how much they love you, you are not the center of their world, or the most important thing in their world, and you shouldn’t want to be. It’s actually quite selfish and egoic of our little minds to think we should replace and come before the needs of their own little minds. 

You do you. They need to do them. Once you both have that straight.. then you can come together as two mentally and emotionally healthy human beings and hang out together. Neither needing and expecting something of the other.

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A problem finding mind is an exhausting mind to have if it has bad habits.
It never stops.
In it’s functional state it’s an amazing analyzer and problem solver.
In it’s dysfunctional state, it will focus on unsolvable problems, such as other people or situations that are out of its control and begin to race.
It can also become bitchy and very critical.
Let’s look at both Passive side of this mind and the Aggressive Side.

The Passive Side.
I like to use the analogy of the tidy mind house with this type of mind, so the person can visualize what their mind is doing. 
This mind feels that it can’t relax until it has the answer or the solution has been found…but when it is zoned in on something that doesn’t have and answer or solution, it becomes neurotic. Obsessive, racing, out of control, running around faster and faster around the mind house trying to “fix” it.
Then it realizes this is making it feel really bad so then it runs around even more trying to fix itself.
This is the passive side of this mind.
The worry, or trying to figure it out and fix it, causes the anxiety.. which is the result of the mind running non stop creating excessive mental energy which then is felt by the body as anxiety.
It’s too much. It is shorting itself out.
This type of mind is easily wound up. Problem, Solution.. Problem, Solution. I’m tired just thinking about it. 

The Aggressive Side
This mind habit can also take on a suspicious nature..and if it also resonates with the trust issues mind habit category.. watch out. This combination can be very destructive.
This mind is very rushed, urgent, and pushy. I will push you into decisions out of a sense of urgency or desperation, when if you could stop and look at the facts of reality, is not necessary. It only exist inside this mind. “Do it now! Don’t make anyone wait! Slop It together and just get it out there!” Hurry!!! To this mind everything feel life or death. 

Because this mind thinks so fast, it can be very critical of those who don’t.
It can also turn that criticism inward and really develop some negative self talk that destroys your confidence and trust in yourself. 
It is destructive because this mind likes to “warn” others.
If it thinks someone is “bad” or is mistreating, using, or abusing other people, it will tell the others..not because it’s trying to start trouble. It speaks up out of fear and in it’s mind it is protecting people..
However, this mind is reactive and jumps to conclusions and makes assumptions and then decides it is fact. It’s usually not fact. This type of mind rarely stops long enough to determine if something is actually a fact or can be proved. This mind can start protest and movements. This mind is passionate and fuels the passion or pain of others. 

If functional, it can be an inspiration and very motivational. It knows how to stir the emotions of others in such a way that makes them feel passionate about something too.

This mind is extremely empathic. This makes this type of mind great at sales or helping others. If they really like something.. they are so relatable and they tell everyone about what they have found. They love to share the good things they have found. They also like to share the negative things they have found. The filter and the thought process of “Hey, What kind of damage would this do if I just blab it out right now without thinking it through?", is not there. 

A thought is in there head one second and then out of their mouth the next. Everything moves really fast for this mind. In other words, you put your foot in your mouth.. a lot.

This type of mind also works for reward, usually in the form of praise and recognition. Meaning, it wants and needs a reward and instant gratification is always preferred. It likes short projects that can be admired and praised quickly.

If you have this type of mind people either really love you or really hate you. It can go either way. This mind can get you in trouble and make you say and do things that hurt yourself and others in the process. Those with this mind learn they have to “fake” nice.. because its unacceptable if they actually say what they think. They have to learn social niceties instead of it being safe to be authentically themselves. This mind knows what it likes and what it doesn’t. This mind is the first to get medicated for ADHD. Because it thinks so fast and so much, it is the first to become diagnosed with some disorder and be medicated.

This mind can get into a big complaining habit especially in its more aggressive side.

Are You Resonating?
If you are resonating with this mind, you probably fall in the health type of Activator or Connector.. meaning your are probably not very tall and have more of a lean curvy hourglass shape or a fuller curvy hourglass shape. I myself am a 5’3” Activator and I have done all of the above. Crusaders and Guardians may also resonant with a few of these habits.

This mind can be a gift to society when functional and not exhibiting bad habits. This mind can also be societies worst nightmare if exhibiting the aggressive side of these bad mind habits.

If you are living with someone with this kind of mind, please don’t point out their negative behavior in any way unless you have a death wish. They are aware of it.. trust me. They live with it going on inside of them every single day. They just don’t know how to ease the pain and if their mind is a telling assumption stories to them, they have just become lost in the story, believing everything their mind says is true.. which just adds to the pain. Please don’t medicate them because you think they should sit still more..Support them by understanding them and giving them a safe space to begin to understand themselves. 

What’s the fix?
Passive Side..
Close your eyes. See your mind running around your mind house.. frantically trying to fix something or figure something out. See yourself as the caretaker. Go to the mind and hold it. Hold it in your lap and say, you don’t have to fix this or figure this out right now. It’s ok. There is no rush. It’s ok. You may have to hold it for a few minutes before this energy starts to calm down and slow down.
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Aggressive Side..Awareness of of what your mind is doing is the first step. Realize you have the power to create or destroy. It’s a big responsibility. Begin using it wisely. Don’t hurt others with this powerful mind and don’t hurt yourself. 
Start a new habit of Pausing before speaking or acting. Then do a Fact Check and a Consequence Check. This will help break this aggressive habit. 
​If it is constantly criticizing you, or you resonate more with the aggressive side, your mind is in pain and fear. You will need to help it release and express this pain. Start with the Learn to Tidy and Relax Your Mind course today.
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First let me clarify I have nothing against gratitude.
I think it’s fabulous. Keep your gratitude journals. Go to town. Have at it.. as we say in the south.

What I do oppose is the concept that being grateful is a solution for a negative mind.
It may help retrain some of it’s negative habits, but if you don’t start at the source of the problem, this is a fix that won’t stick.

So where is the source of your negativity?
It resides in a mind who has been hurt or one that has not had it’s needs met.
A negative mind is no stranger to disappointment. This mind has lost it’s faith in other people and sometimes in life.
This mind has been let down and lied to way too many times to count.
A negative mind is a hurting mind.
You can throw all the gratitude at it you want, but it doesn’t relieve the pain.
It just makes you feel guilty for being negative when you “should” be feeling grateful. 

Sounding familiar?
Now before we go too deep into blaming others or life for our minds being negative, we have to look at the kind of mind we may have. 
You may have a mind with strong values and high expectations.
Well isn’t that how we are supposed to be?
The truth is, a strong value system and setting the bar super high on behavior is not for everyone.
It doesn’t make them wrong or less than, it just means that they have a very different mind with a different set of priorities than yours.
The higher your expectations, the greater your risk of disappointment. True?

When we don’t understand this, we can assume that others just don’t care about us.
I mean you always remember their birthdays and send them thoughtful gifts, so they should do the same, right? 
Nope. It's not happening.
Now it would be nice, but thoughtfulness and gift giving does not come as high on their priority list as it does yours. 

There are some minds who are negative because they feel they never get what they want or it’s just never enough.
Life is unfair. They develop a bit of a suffering, victim mentality.
Their mind is wanting sympathy… someone to take their side.. acknowledge the injustice.
Then a little praise about how they made it through such an experience wouldn’t hurt either, right?
This mind can also fall into the Never Satisfied category of mind habits.

Why do we have different minds?
Several factors.
One is genetics. I can guess if you are resonating with this and thinking I’ve been secretly watching you somehow, that you have an apple or pear body shape. If you also resonant with the Never Satisfied category, you could be more thin, triangle or ruler shaped.
Second factor to consider is who you watched and learned from when your mind was developing as a child.
Third factor is the emotional pain you are storing and the behaviors you developed in an attempt to ease that pain and get your needs met.

So what’s the fix.
Take a look at the 3 factors. 

1. Get to know your mind genetically. Understand we are not all the same nor do we have the same priorities, and accept that as quickly as you can.
2. Give some thought to the behavior and coping skills of your parents or those you grew up being influenced by. 
3. Learn how to release your past pains and begin meeting the emotional needs of your mind.

I have a course that will help you through this process called Learn to Tidy and Relax Your Mind.
You can try out the first 3 days free.. and if it works for you, then purchase the course for $97 and keep going until your mind no longer has any reason to be negative. 
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It's never enough.
This type of mind Is always waiting to experience contentment, but once it receives it's desired feeling, it is short lived. It will need more.
This mind is always waiting on a dream destination, a dream person, a dream situation to make it feel better.
It craves perfection, or the picture society paints of perfection.

This mind refuses to come out of the clouds and join the others in reality. It has a movie mentality.
This mind bores easily. 
This mind wants what It wants and it wants to get what It wants..
Do this for me.. Give me what I want.. Make exceptions for me.. I'm special don't you know?
It can be rather self serving and self centered. It has the engrained belief that others are supposed to meet it needs and if they don't, it will resort to game playing and manipulation. 
This mind also desires to be the center of your world. 

"When I am around, I should be the most important thing in that moment.
You should drop everything else in your life and put me first. If you love me, you would put me and what I need first always."

This mind then sets out to find that perfect person that will meet every emotional need and admire it constantly and make it the center of their world... because they are supposed to, right?

Be proud of me.
Admire me.
Desire me.
Compliment me.

The Passive Side of Never Satisfied.
Whiny and Needy. The passive side of this mind Is usually sweeter than the aggressive side, but it's draining to others...
and don't underestimate it. It can be as dangerous if not more so than the aggressive side.

It uses the sweeter side to gain sympathy to get what it wants and needs. It plays weak and may even play dumb if that will work.
It will cry, play games, scheme, manipulate, whatever it takes to get it's needs met.
It will push you away to punish you and to see if you "love it enough" to chase it.. cause that's how it works in the movies right?

Remember this mind is super intelligent because it was intended to create vaccines and stuff, but here we are.
This mind can not be satisfied.
It will never receive enough attention, praise, or admiration. It's a bottomless pit.
It is a high maintenance mind.
No human can possibly make your mind feel what it wants to feel forever, so stop looking..
Some loving souls can hang in there for a little while, but soon, they realize what they are up against and give up or run away.. This is what we call "self sabotaging".. Your mind ruins your relationships by wanting something that is not humanly possible...
and then your mind blames the other person instead of taking personal responsibility. 
What this mind mistakes as love, is nothing more than a self centered mind getting its needs met for a time by another person. Real love has nothing to do with someone meeting your every emotional need. Real love is about two people, not just one.

The Aggressive Side of Never Satisfied.
Jealous and Comparing. This happens as a defense mechanism. It is constantly on the look out for threats. Who might come between me and me getting my needs met. They might steal my admiration, my compliments. They might be prettier and get the attention that belongs to me. They might take my title of the best. Can't let that happen now can we.

When this side is activated, you might see anger, rage, outbursts. This minds needs being met is being threatened and childish behaviour may soon make an appearance. The person with this mind will do everything possible not to let the aggressive side surface, because they don't want to "look bad".

Comparing can take many shapes. It doesn't have to be relationship related. It can be success related. Your mind can turn on you and torture you over YOU not being enough. Your accomplishments, no matter how great, are never enough.. it's never satisfied. You should always be doing more! Get me more praise, more success, more money your mind says.

It's just bad habits. You are not broken.
These are nothing more than bad habits learned by a very Intelligent mind whose focus is to be made to feel how it wants to feel.
If these bad habits of whining and neediness and jealousy and comparing were to be eradicated, this mind would take the healthy focus of productivity. Those who have this type of mind are not here to suffer these bad habits, but are here to use their driven, obsessive, passionate tendencies to create amazing things that will benefit and move humanity forward.
However, these habits get in the way, and this powerful mind only sets out to create suffering and emotional pain for themselves and those around them. This mind has the ability to go the distance, to get things done, to lead. It is highly intelligent, focused, and driven.
It does not belong fumbling around in the emotional world chasing feelings. 

This type of mind usually belongs to but is not limited to Sensors & Crusaders. (Don't know your health type? Take the quiz.)
Diplomats & Activators can also fall victim to such bad habits. None of us are immune but your health type can tell you a lot about what negative habits you are prone to exhibit.

If you are interested in breaking this habit, I suggest starting with the Learn to Tidy and Relax Your Mind online course. Check out the first 3 lessons and see what you think...if it works for you.. keep going.
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The dreaded basement.
When I work with clients one on one to tidy their mind, there comes a point in every session after we have discussed what is going on in their current situations.. or their people room.. where I say.. ok, are you ready to go in the basement and find the box this is opening now? The response is usually an astounding... NO!!! not the basement.

It’s like asking a child if they are ready for you to get that splinter out of their finger. They do.. but they don’t. They want the relief from the pain but sometimes we have to push through pain to get to the relief on the other side. This is what is happening for you emotionally as you go in the basement to deal with your pain of the past.

Pain of the past… ughhh.. just mentioning that seems overwhelming and exhausting.
Yes, I know. None of us want to think about that old stuff. "I’ve already dealt with it!!!".. you say.
We would rather just ignore it, shove it in a box in the corner, deny what we feel, etc… but it’s not going anywhere until you clean it out. If you have unwanted behaviours, you have a box. If you have emotional outburst or reactivity, you have a box. If you have emotional pain, you have a box. You and your mind are the only ones who can actually release it and let it go. I can go with you or give you the tools to give you step by step instructions on how to throw it out and release it, but only your mind can actually chose to do it.


An important point to clarify.
We are not going into the basement to dig out old memories for the purpose of wallowing in the pain of that memory. No. We are going into the basement and dragging out that painful box and all of it’s memories for the sole intention of clearing it and releasing it.

There is a time and place for past room basement visits. You must be ready. You must be strong and clear in your intentions for going into those memories in the basement. You must hold yourself grounded as the role of the caretaker.

Even though the Learn to Tidy and Relax your Mind course teaches you how to go into the basement and clean out those boxes or those deeper wounds, I don’t suggest doing it alone until you are ready. You know you are ready when you are able to consistently see the voice of your mind as separate from who you are.


Why do we even bother with these boxes?
These boxes not only hold past pain, they also hold your belief systems..including the things you believed about yourself from your perceptions and experiences as a child. The boxes hold lies, and misunderstandings about you and others. These boxes directly impact and control your behaviours as an adult. Ever witnessed yourself acting childish and wondered why? The reason for this is there was a box opened in your basement. Once its opened and the pain starts to pour out, it's incredibly difficult if not impossible to control your reactions and behaviours.


How do the boxes get opened?
These boxes in the past room basement are either opened by a situation or person in your people room or intentionally opened by you for the purpose of cleaning them out and releasing them. So even though you may be avoiding going into the past room or basement until you are grounded and ready in your belief that you are not the mind, someone in your people room may unintentionally open it for you. This is why we do the work. As long as the boxes are there and full of past stuff, there is a potential for pain, emotional reactivity, and unwanted behaviours.

Take the Learn to Tidy and Relax your Mind course to get prepared for your basement clean out!

Be sure to connect with me on all those social places. I would love to hear from you and learn more about you and your mind!
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