Let me tell you what kind of mind can be on one the most miserable to live with and deal with.. a pouty mind.

I observed my own pouty mind over the past 48 hours. Even though I was able to stay aware and separated from it- which is step one in the Tidy Mind Process- I was still feeling the discomfort of my miserable little mind in my emotional body (which is expected). I knew I needed to have a talk with it. Basically, what it came down to was my mind was not getting all of it's conditions met. It was then becoming angry and looking for someone to blame, punish, and manipulate. 

Some of our minds don't know how to handle or cope with not having everything the way it thinks it should be. It has wants and desires and has never learned to cope with not having every condition always the way it thinks it should be. So it pouts. Feels sorry for itself. Becomes angry. Blames situations and other people. However the real problem, is only within itself. You are suffering because this type of mind can't handle not getting what it wants when and how it wants it. 

Let's Help It Cope
This type of mind sulks, is miserable, and makes everyone around it miserable in the process. If it has picked a target to blame, it will begin it's punishing and acting cold and aloof. It does this passive aggressive action to get the attention of the one it wants to do something to make it feel better. Yep, it's childish. However, this behavior probably worked in the past, so why fix it if it still works?

To help it cope, it must first admit that this behavior is childish. It must also see that it is impossible for conditions to always be perfect or how it wants them to be. It must learn to endure discomfort without resorting to it's old tricks of manipulation to get someone else to help it feel better. Remember, that is your job.

Here is something you can try the next time pouty mind shows up.

1. Don't fight the discomfort you feel. Let your mind know that it doesn't have to fear the discomfort it feels from not getting or having what it wants. Be kind and patient with your mind but let it know that pouting won't fix it this time.
2. Ask it what it is wanting that it is not getting. Write it down. Now ask it to write down the reality of how things are right now. Now make a plan with your mind how it can cope with what it can't change and how it can plan to take one action step on the things it can change.
3. If your mind has picked a target to blame and punish, let that person know. You might want to have a conversation with them before this happens to let them know you are trying to help your mind overcome a poor coping mechanism. Then when old pouty shows up, let the person know it is happening and that your mind wants to be mean and cold and punishing but that you are doing your best to not do that. You might even suggest they give you some space and not engage in conversations with you until you can get your mind out of pouty/angry mode. If you are in a relationship with a safe person, they will appreciate your honesty and support you as you work with your mind.

Are you really being mistreated or are they just not doing what your mind wants and expects.

Let’s define mistreatment. 
You are actually being mistreated if you are suffering physical, mental, or emotional abuse. 

We all know what physical abuse looks like. 
Mental and Emotional abuse can be a bit of a grey area for our minds, but let’s try to define it. 
Here are a few behaviors that you should protect your mind from. Name calling, bullying, emotional manipulation (punishing you with silence) gas lighting (trying to confuse your mind and make it question itself or think it is crazy or misreading things) attacking, blaming, shaming, guilting, etc. 

This type of behavior is their little mind trying to get its own needs met by you.. by using every trick and game it can think of.
It wants to feel a certain way, and by doing these behaviors to your mind, it get’s it’s needs met or tries to get them met while your little mind is being abused. 

You may have just read this and thought.. oh God.. I do some of these things to others. Yes, most of us have. 
Why? Because our minds are trying to get their needs met from another person and it will do whatever it takes.. even if it means hurting another mind. If you are doing these behaviors to the mind of someone you love. stop. Take sometime and work with your mind. Learn to Tidy and Relax your mind is a good place to start. If another mind is doing these things to you, protect your mind. That doesn’t always mean leave them. Sometimes all it takes to protect your mind is just staying aware of what they are doing and why they are doing it. That abusive behavior is coming from a mind in pain, in fear, in need. that they are not caring for.

No one is going to do everything your mind wants and expects.. 
but it doesn’t mean they don’t love you.. 
it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be with them. 

What it really means is that your mind is still looking to other people to get its needs met instead of looking to you. 
It may also mean that you have a mind that has a “never satisfied” habit that needs to be broken. 

If you are looking for and waiting on perfection in a relationship with another person.. 
I’m sorry to disappoint you, but the reality is.. that doesn’t exist. 

Despite what your mind tells you because of what it has seen on tv of the movies it watched as a kid, there are no perfect relationships. 

However, the closest you can come to that is the relationship between you and you.  
You are the only one who is going to love and tolerate your little needy mind enough to tell it what it wants to hear.. to give it what it wants to have to be satisfied. Just you. 

Other people can truly love us..but they have their own little needy mind that needs cared for..

No matter how much they love you, you are not the center of their world, or the most important thing in their world, and you shouldn’t want to be. It’s actually quite selfish and egoic of our little minds to think we should replace and come before the needs of their own little minds. 

You do you. They need to do them. Once you both have that straight.. then you can come together as two mentally and emotionally healthy human beings and hang out together. Neither needing and expecting something of the other.

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It's never enough.
This type of mind Is always waiting to experience contentment, but once it receives it's desired feeling, it is short lived. It will need more.
This mind is always waiting on a dream destination, a dream person, a dream situation to make it feel better.
It craves perfection, or the picture society paints of perfection.

This mind refuses to come out of the clouds and join the others in reality. It has a movie mentality.
This mind bores easily. 
This mind wants what It wants and it wants to get what It wants..
Do this for me.. Give me what I want.. Make exceptions for me.. I'm special don't you know?
It can be rather self serving and self centered. It has the engrained belief that others are supposed to meet it needs and if they don't, it will resort to game playing and manipulation. 
This mind also desires to be the center of your world. 

"When I am around, I should be the most important thing in that moment.
You should drop everything else in your life and put me first. If you love me, you would put me and what I need first always."

This mind then sets out to find that perfect person that will meet every emotional need and admire it constantly and make it the center of their world... because they are supposed to, right?

Be proud of me.
Admire me.
Desire me.
Compliment me.

The Passive Side of Never Satisfied.
Whiny and Needy. The passive side of this mind Is usually sweeter than the aggressive side, but it's draining to others...
and don't underestimate it. It can be as dangerous if not more so than the aggressive side.

It uses the sweeter side to gain sympathy to get what it wants and needs. It plays weak and may even play dumb if that will work.
It will cry, play games, scheme, manipulate, whatever it takes to get it's needs met.
It will push you away to punish you and to see if you "love it enough" to chase it.. cause that's how it works in the movies right?

Remember this mind is super intelligent because it was intended to create vaccines and stuff, but here we are.
This mind can not be satisfied.
It will never receive enough attention, praise, or admiration. It's a bottomless pit.
It is a high maintenance mind.
No human can possibly make your mind feel what it wants to feel forever, so stop looking..
Some loving souls can hang in there for a little while, but soon, they realize what they are up against and give up or run away.. This is what we call "self sabotaging".. Your mind ruins your relationships by wanting something that is not humanly possible...
and then your mind blames the other person instead of taking personal responsibility. 
What this mind mistakes as love, is nothing more than a self centered mind getting its needs met for a time by another person. Real love has nothing to do with someone meeting your every emotional need. Real love is about two people, not just one.

The Aggressive Side of Never Satisfied.
Jealous and Comparing. This happens as a defense mechanism. It is constantly on the look out for threats. Who might come between me and me getting my needs met. They might steal my admiration, my compliments. They might be prettier and get the attention that belongs to me. They might take my title of the best. Can't let that happen now can we.

When this side is activated, you might see anger, rage, outbursts. This minds needs being met is being threatened and childish behaviour may soon make an appearance. The person with this mind will do everything possible not to let the aggressive side surface, because they don't want to "look bad".

Comparing can take many shapes. It doesn't have to be relationship related. It can be success related. Your mind can turn on you and torture you over YOU not being enough. Your accomplishments, no matter how great, are never enough.. it's never satisfied. You should always be doing more! Get me more praise, more success, more money your mind says.

It's just bad habits. You are not broken.
These are nothing more than bad habits learned by a very Intelligent mind whose focus is to be made to feel how it wants to feel.
If these bad habits of whining and neediness and jealousy and comparing were to be eradicated, this mind would take the healthy focus of productivity. Those who have this type of mind are not here to suffer these bad habits, but are here to use their driven, obsessive, passionate tendencies to create amazing things that will benefit and move humanity forward.
However, these habits get in the way, and this powerful mind only sets out to create suffering and emotional pain for themselves and those around them. This mind has the ability to go the distance, to get things done, to lead. It is highly intelligent, focused, and driven.
It does not belong fumbling around in the emotional world chasing feelings. 

This type of mind usually belongs to but is not limited to Sensors & Crusaders. (Don't know your health type? Take the quiz.)
Diplomats & Activators can also fall victim to such bad habits. None of us are immune but your health type can tell you a lot about what negative habits you are prone to exhibit.

If you are interested in breaking this habit, I suggest starting with the Learn to Tidy and Relax Your Mind online course. Check out the first 3 lessons and see what you think...if it works for you.. keep going.
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