Let me tell you what kind of mind can be on one the most miserable to live with and deal with.. a pouty mind.
I observed my own pouty mind over the past 48 hours. Even though I was able to stay aware and separated from it- which is step one in the Tidy Mind Process- I was still feeling the discomfort of my miserable little mind in my emotional body (which is expected). I knew I needed to have a talk with it. Basically, what it came down to was my mind was not getting all of it's conditions met. It was then becoming angry and looking for someone to blame, punish, and manipulate.
Some of our minds don't know how to handle or cope with not having everything the way it thinks it should be. It has wants and desires and has never learned to cope with not having every condition always the way it thinks it should be. So it pouts. Feels sorry for itself. Becomes angry. Blames situations and other people. However the real problem, is only within itself. You are suffering because this type of mind can't handle not getting what it wants when and how it wants it.
Let's Help It Cope
This type of mind sulks, is miserable, and makes everyone around it miserable in the process. If it has picked a target to blame, it will begin it's punishing and acting cold and aloof. It does this passive aggressive action to get the attention of the one it wants to do something to make it feel better. Yep, it's childish. However, this behavior probably worked in the past, so why fix it if it still works?
To help it cope, it must first admit that this behavior is childish. It must also see that it is impossible for conditions to always be perfect or how it wants them to be. It must learn to endure discomfort without resorting to it's old tricks of manipulation to get someone else to help it feel better. Remember, that is your job.
Here is something you can try the next time pouty mind shows up.
Sensors & Crusaders:
Well apparently I'm not going to make many friends with this post.
This Health Type tends to be the winners in the eyes of society.
They are smart.
They are naturally good at just about everything they try.
They are beautiful.
All of these qualities are highly recognized, praised, and sought after in our society.
In school they are they jocks and the cheerleaders, the homecoming queens and kings.
In the movies they are the stars the leading characters.
This result is this type of mind growing up expecting to be treated as special, important, the star of the show, the best..acknowledged, praised, admired.
All of this special treatment, shapes a mind that becomes very needy of external validation and constant reassurance.
As a child, they may find this is easy to come by and it comes in abundance.. Their minds big needs for external validation are constantly met.
Everyone tells them just how good and smart and beautiful they are all of the time..
Then as they grow into adulthood, unless they become a movie star or celebrity, this amount of recognition of beauty and achievement is harder and harder to come by and even then...it's never enough.
This mind falls in the Never Satisfied Category of Mind Habits.
To get their minds many needs met, they will overachieve, constantly change things about their looks or appearance. Do whatever it takes to get noticed.
No amount of money, status, or recognition is ever enough for this mind. It will always need more and never stay satisfied for long. This is an incredibly tiring and exhausting type of mind habit to have and can leave people who appear to have it all feeling desperate and miserable. They work hard at perfection so they can achieve the recognition.
What's the Fix?
Awareness that your mind has created a hole that can't possibly be filled is a great start. You are setting yourself up for failure and that is something your mind does not handle well.
Realizing that those around you in your life aren't responsible for constantly trying to fill this hole for you and make you feel a certain way. They have lives and minds of their own to care for.
Your mind and it's needs are not the center of the universe. Other people exist and we all matter.
Redirect your focus from receiving to giving. If you look outside of yourself. See a need. Meet a need.
Stop comparing your life and experience to what you see in movies. It's not reality.
Stop expecting perfection. It doesn't exist.
Use your mind for it's intended purpose. You are hard workers. You are unstoppable. You are smart. You have the ability to go the distance. Go create something amazing for the world. Get your mind off of itself and it's mission for validation and reassurance through looks and accomplishments.. and put your mind on a mission of creating a better more efficient world. I have no doubt you will succeed.
listen to the audio version here or
Hey, it's me!!..Angie Johnsey. You may have seen me with Valerie Bertinelli on the Today Show being called the "mind coach". I love helping people like you find relief from all of the "crazy making" that our minds can get in to..Did you hear about the Tidy Mind Map? Yep, I'm kind of the personal organizer for your mind. I'm glad you are here.. I have so much to share with you. Pull up a chair, let me help you unwind your mind, and let's hang out.
we need to talk.