"I wish I didn't care what others thought of me."
"I wish I could stop doubting myself."
"I wish I could stop people pleasing."
"I wish I could just be myself around anyone and everyone."
"I wish I could be free to be my authentic self."
"I wish I could just relax around others."
You don't feel safe enough to experience the above mentioned yet.
Why? You have made everyone else's thoughts and opinions of you higher than or more important than.. more valuable than your own opinion of you.
You see others as the adult or the authority. This is pointing to a the Caretaker part of your mind, not quite stepping into adulthood yet. You may also have a fear of mistakes...meaning you don't feel safe to make your own mistakes yet. You've yet to allow mistakes to become an acceptable part of life.
You also don't trust you yet.
What does that mean?
If you look at your mind in 2 parts.. one being the inner child part, the other being the parent or caretaker part.. the inner child doesn't trust the caretaker and the caretaker doesn't trust the inner child.
The inner child is loud, direct, honest and can also have adopted many bad habits to get its needs met.
Your inner child is more than ready to be it's true self around everyone.
The caretaker is supposed to be the confident adult, but may not have grown into that yet.
This is the people pleasing part of your mind. The part that is afraid of rejection, judgement, criticism, and making mistakes. The one looking to others for the answers when it should be confident in it's own thoughts and opinions. This behavior of the caretaker angers the inner child part and it will act out.
The caretaker is embarrassed by the behaviors of the inner child part and tries to suppress it.
You can see there is a war here instead of a union. This is a dysfunctional relationship between YOU and YOU.
What's the Fix?
1) Help your Caretaker grow up and embrace adulthood. Some of you are avoiding being responsible for yourself...because being responsible means owning mistakes.. and you are still afraid of mistakes. It's easier to just hide behind insecurity or other people.
2) Help the Caretaker part overcome it's fears of rejection, judgement, criticism, and mistakes. This will require looking into your past experiences..or "basement" work.
3) Create a sense of calm and security within yourself by strengthening your YOU and YOU relationship.
Need step by step instructions on how to accomplish these 3 important milestones in your growth?
Pre Register for the upcoming course Grow Me Up- Helping your Mind Step into Maturity.
Hey, it's me!!..Angie Johnsey. You may have seen me with Valerie Bertinelli on the Today Show being called the "mind coach". I love helping people like you find relief from all of the "crazy making" that our minds can get in to..Did you hear about the Tidy Mind Map? Yep, I'm kind of the personal organizer for your mind. I'm glad you are here.. I have so much to share with you. Pull up a chair, let me help you unwind your mind, and let's hang out.
we need to talk.