Victim of grand expectations
Guardians and Diplomats:
I did a post the other day for the Activators and Connectors suffering from VOGI'S- Victims of their own Grand Ideas.
Today I realized that Guardians and Diplomats have VOGE's..Victims of Grand Expectations..
You guys have a super strong value system. Things matter to you that don't matter to the other health types.. such as remembering birthdays, writing handwritten thank you notes, making others feel special... going the extra mile.
You will put so much time and energy into making things special for others because it matters to you. You value excellence.
Then after you put in all of this time and energy, if it's not noticed or appreciated or reciprocated in the way you EXPECT.. you suffer and become angry and resentful.
Your great expectations also make it hard for you to trust others to do the same quality job that you would do. This means, you end up taking on more because of this belief and maybe a little need to control so it's done "right" but becoming bitter and resentful that "you have to do everything."
Here is an audio I hear from many Diplomats especially."I always have to be the responsible one. It's always all on me. I have to do everything. I get no help or support...and no one even appreciates it. I do everything for everyone all of the time and they don't even notice everything I do for them."
Is this true or are you bringing everything all yourself because of your GRAND EXPECTATIONS? Are you experiencing a VOGE?
BELIEF- I HAVE TO DO THIS
(EVEN THOUGH NO ONE ACTUALLY ASKED ME TO OR IS EXPECTING ME TO EXCEPT for MYSELF AND MY HIGH EXPECTATIONS ON THIS EXPERIENCE)
REACTION- BITTER , RESENTFUL, AND HATING ALL THE UNAPPRECIATIVE SELFISH PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE
(USUALLY YOUR FAMILY, THE ONES YOU LOVE MOST)
If this sounds familiar it's time to end the VOGE's... realize you are setting yourself up for this anger and bitterness. Realize things that matter so much to you, just don't matter to everyone else.
Of course, they will let you do it if you are offering, but if you are looking to get your need of appreciation met from them.. you are looking for it in the wrong place.
Either resist the urge to go the extra mile for everyone.. or drop the GRAND EXPECTATIONS on their reactions being some over the top outpouring of appreciation.. it's not happening....you are living in a dream world.....
then learn how to fulfill your own emotional needs for appreciation. Learn how to tell yourself how amazing you are.. how special you are..know for yourself what an incredible human being you are.. because you are!💛
listen to the audio version here or
Hey, it's me!!..Angie Johnsey. You may have seen me with Valerie Bertinelli on the Today Show being called the "mind coach". I love helping people like you find relief from all of the "crazy making" that our minds can get in to..Did you hear about the Tidy Mind Map? Yep, I'm kind of the personal organizer for your mind. I'm glad you are here.. I have so much to share with you. Pull up a chair, let me help you unwind your mind, and let's hang out.
we need to talk.