what's the problem now?

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read the blog below

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A problem finding mind is an exhausting mind to have if it has bad habits.
It never stops.
In it’s functional state it’s an amazing analyzer and problem solver.
In it’s dysfunctional state, it will focus on unsolvable problems, such as other people or situations that are out of its control and begin to race.
It can also become bitchy and very critical.
Let’s look at both Passive side of this mind and the Aggressive Side.

The Passive Side.
I like to use the analogy of the tidy mind house with this type of mind, so the person can visualize what their mind is doing. 
This mind feels that it can’t relax until it has the answer or the solution has been found…but when it is zoned in on something that doesn’t have and answer or solution, it becomes neurotic. Obsessive, racing, out of control, running around faster and faster around the mind house trying to “fix” it.
Then it realizes this is making it feel really bad so then it runs around even more trying to fix itself.
This is the passive side of this mind.
The worry, or trying to figure it out and fix it, causes the anxiety.. which is the result of the mind running non stop creating excessive mental energy which then is felt by the body as anxiety.
It’s too much. It is shorting itself out.
This type of mind is easily wound up. Problem, Solution.. Problem, Solution. I’m tired just thinking about it. 

The Aggressive Side
This mind habit can also take on a suspicious nature..and if it also resonates with the trust issues mind habit category.. watch out. This combination can be very destructive.
This mind is very rushed, urgent, and pushy. I will push you into decisions out of a sense of urgency or desperation, when if you could stop and look at the facts of reality, is not necessary. It only exist inside this mind. “Do it now! Don’t make anyone wait! Slop It together and just get it out there!” Hurry!!! To this mind everything feel life or death. 

Because this mind thinks so fast, it can be very critical of those who don’t.
It can also turn that criticism inward and really develop some negative self talk that destroys your confidence and trust in yourself. 
It is destructive because this mind likes to “warn” others.
If it thinks someone is “bad” or is mistreating, using, or abusing other people, it will tell the others..not because it’s trying to start trouble. It speaks up out of fear and in it’s mind it is protecting people..
However, this mind is reactive and jumps to conclusions and makes assumptions and then decides it is fact. It’s usually not fact. This type of mind rarely stops long enough to determine if something is actually a fact or can be proved. This mind can start protest and movements. This mind is passionate and fuels the passion or pain of others. 

If functional, it can be an inspiration and very motivational. It knows how to stir the emotions of others in such a way that makes them feel passionate about something too.

This mind is extremely empathic. This makes this type of mind great at sales or helping others. If they really like something.. they are so relatable and they tell everyone about what they have found. They love to share the good things they have found. They also like to share the negative things they have found. The filter and the thought process of “Hey, What kind of damage would this do if I just blab it out right now without thinking it through?", is not there. 

A thought is in there head one second and then out of their mouth the next. Everything moves really fast for this mind. In other words, you put your foot in your mouth.. a lot.

This type of mind also works for reward, usually in the form of praise and recognition. Meaning, it wants and needs a reward and instant gratification is always preferred. It likes short projects that can be admired and praised quickly.

If you have this type of mind people either really love you or really hate you. It can go either way. This mind can get you in trouble and make you say and do things that hurt yourself and others in the process. Those with this mind learn they have to “fake” nice.. because its unacceptable if they actually say what they think. They have to learn social niceties instead of it being safe to be authentically themselves. This mind knows what it likes and what it doesn’t. This mind is the first to get medicated for ADHD. Because it thinks so fast and so much, it is the first to become diagnosed with some disorder and be medicated.

This mind can get into a big complaining habit especially in its more aggressive side.

Are You Resonating?
If you are resonating with this mind, you probably fall in the health type of Activator or Connector.. meaning your are probably not very tall and have more of a lean curvy hourglass shape or a fuller curvy hourglass shape. I myself am a 5’3” Activator and I have done all of the above. Crusaders and Guardians may also resonant with a few of these habits.

This mind can be a gift to society when functional and not exhibiting bad habits. This mind can also be societies worst nightmare if exhibiting the aggressive side of these bad mind habits.

If you are living with someone with this kind of mind, please don’t point out their negative behavior in any way unless you have a death wish. They are aware of it.. trust me. They live with it going on inside of them every single day. They just don’t know how to ease the pain and if their mind is a telling assumption stories to them, they have just become lost in the story, believing everything their mind says is true.. which just adds to the pain. Please don’t medicate them because you think they should sit still more..Support them by understanding them and giving them a safe space to begin to understand themselves. 

What’s the fix?
Passive Side..
Close your eyes. See your mind running around your mind house.. frantically trying to fix something or figure something out. See yourself as the caretaker. Go to the mind and hold it. Hold it in your lap and say, you don’t have to fix this or figure this out right now. It’s ok. There is no rush. It’s ok. You may have to hold it for a few minutes before this energy starts to calm down and slow down.
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Aggressive Side..Awareness of of what your mind is doing is the first step. Realize you have the power to create or destroy. It’s a big responsibility. Begin using it wisely. Don’t hurt others with this powerful mind and don’t hurt yourself. 
Start a new habit of Pausing before speaking or acting. Then do a Fact Check and a Consequence Check. This will help break this aggressive habit. 
​If it is constantly criticizing you, or you resonate more with the aggressive side, your mind is in pain and fear. You will need to help it release and express this pain. Start with the Learn to Tidy and Relax Your Mind course today.
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