are you being mistreated? do you stay or do you go?

listen to the audio version here or
​read the blog below

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Are you really being mistreated or are they just not doing what your mind wants and expects.

Let’s define mistreatment. 
You are actually being mistreated if you are suffering physical, mental, or emotional abuse. 

We all know what physical abuse looks like. 
Mental and Emotional abuse can be a bit of a grey area for our minds, but let’s try to define it. 
Here are a few behaviors that you should protect your mind from. Name calling, bullying, emotional manipulation (punishing you with silence) gas lighting (trying to confuse your mind and make it question itself or think it is crazy or misreading things) attacking, blaming, shaming, guilting, etc. 

This type of behavior is their little mind trying to get its own needs met by you.. by using every trick and game it can think of.
It wants to feel a certain way, and by doing these behaviors to your mind, it get’s it’s needs met or tries to get them met while your little mind is being abused. 

You may have just read this and thought.. oh God.. I do some of these things to others. Yes, most of us have. 
Why? Because our minds are trying to get their needs met from another person and it will do whatever it takes.. even if it means hurting another mind. If you are doing these behaviors to the mind of someone you love. stop. Take sometime and work with your mind. Learn to Tidy and Relax your mind is a good place to start. If another mind is doing these things to you, protect your mind. That doesn’t always mean leave them. Sometimes all it takes to protect your mind is just staying aware of what they are doing and why they are doing it. That abusive behavior is coming from a mind in pain, in fear, in need. that they are not caring for.

No one is going to do everything your mind wants and expects.. 
but it doesn’t mean they don’t love you.. 
it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be with them. 

What it really means is that your mind is still looking to other people to get its needs met instead of looking to you. 
It may also mean that you have a mind that has a “never satisfied” habit that needs to be broken. 

If you are looking for and waiting on perfection in a relationship with another person.. 
I’m sorry to disappoint you, but the reality is.. that doesn’t exist. 

Despite what your mind tells you because of what it has seen on tv of the movies it watched as a kid, there are no perfect relationships. 

However, the closest you can come to that is the relationship between you and you.  
You are the only one who is going to love and tolerate your little needy mind enough to tell it what it wants to hear.. to give it what it wants to have to be satisfied. Just you. 

Other people can truly love us..but they have their own little needy mind that needs cared for..

No matter how much they love you, you are not the center of their world, or the most important thing in their world, and you shouldn’t want to be. It’s actually quite selfish and egoic of our little minds to think we should replace and come before the needs of their own little minds. 

You do you. They need to do them. Once you both have that straight.. then you can come together as two mentally and emotionally healthy human beings and hang out together. Neither needing and expecting something of the other.

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