3 STEPS TO BEING ALONE AND HAPPY ABOUT IT

3 Steps to Being Alone and Happy about it
by angie johnsey

You may read this title and feel hope and resistance at the same time.

Part of you screams, "Yes, I need to know how to do this!"

The other part screams, "but I don't want to be alone. I would rather you tell me how not to be
alone than tell me how to be happy about it."
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This brings me to Step One - Making peace with being alone.

Before we can make peace with our label of "alone", lets look at the fears that come with this label.

1. What will other people think of me if I don't have someone in my life? None of us want the image of the lonely person who can't find someone or make a relationship work. However, that is all that it is, a false image. People will think what they think, until they move on to other more interesting topics than our lives, but what matters at the end of the day is how you think and feel about yourself. 
2. Who will comfort, protect, or take care of me? You will!!! and it is time that you prove to yourself that you can do this.
3. What if I never have someone to share my life with? We don't know what the future holds. Life is constantly changing. What we do know is that right now, you have the space and opportunity to improve the relationship with the one and only you!

Now that we have addressed those fears,
let's look at Step Two - Beginning your relationship with you.

1. Be grateful for this chapter in your life that is giving you space to become the strongest, best version of yourself without having to care for and give attention to a relationship with another person. Take advantage of this time. Who knows how long it will last.
2. Get to know yourself, what you like, your strengths and weaknesses. A great way to do this is to travel alone or go out to eat, or to the movies alone. If being alone is new to you, this will take courage but is a great way to observe your personal strengths and weaknesses. It is also a great way to get over the fear of what other people think of you.
3. See yourself as strong instead of pathetic. Improve how you talk to yourself about your "not in a relationship" status. Instead of the abusive voice that says, look at you, no one wants to be with you, how pathetic you are to have to go the movies alone, remind yourself how strong you are. Most people don't have the strength it takes to completely be with themselves. They need the distraction of the other person to feel comfortable. You are proving you are stronger than the average person.

It's time for Step 3 - Make Future Plans. ​​

1. Never put your life on hold because you feel you have to be in a relationship first. You and You are in a relationship. What do you two want to do in life? Make a list of things you have been waiting to do.
2. As you move forward, learn to comfort and encourage yourself with positive words or activities when you need them. Make a list of things you do for yourself that distract you or make you feel better. Begin to use these things to self soothe and bring comfort.
3. Enjoy your life. As you grow stronger, more confident, more knowledgeable of yourself, more independent, more free from caring what others think, you will spend less time dwelling on your relationship status, and more time enjoying all aspects of life. Take some time and think about your exciting future.

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