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3 STEPS TO BEING ALONE AND HAPPY ABOUT IT

2/23/2017

9 Comments

 
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3 Steps to Being Alone and Happy about it
by angie johnsey

You may read this title and feel hope and resistance at the same time.

Part of you screams, "Yes, I need to know how to do this!"

The other part screams, "but I don't want to be alone. I would rather you tell me how not to be
alone than tell me how to be happy about it."
​

This brings me to Step One - Making peace with being alone.

Before we can make peace with our label of "alone", lets look at the fears that come with this label.
  1. What will other people think of me if I don't have someone in my life? None of us want the image of the lonely person who can't find someone or make a relationship work. However, that is all that it is, a false image. People will think what they think, until they move on to other more interesting topics than our lives, but what matters at the end of the day is how you think and feel about yourself. 
  2. Who will comfort, protect, or take care of me? You will!!! and it is time that you prove to yourself that you can do this.
  3. What if I never have someone to share my life with? We don't know what the future holds. Life is constantly changing. What we do know is that right now, you have the space and opportunity to improve the relationship with the one and only you!

Now that we have addressed those fears,
let's look at Step Two - Beginning your relationship with you.
  1. Be grateful for this chapter in your life that is giving you space to become the strongest, best version of yourself without having to care for and give attention to a relationship with another person. Take advantage of this time. Who knows how long it will last.
  2. Get to know yourself, what you like, your strengths and weaknesses. A great way to do this is to travel alone or go out to eat, or to the movies alone. If being alone is new to you, this will take courage but is a great way to observe your personal strengths and weaknesses. It is also a great way to get over the fear of what other people think of you.
  3. See yourself as strong instead of pathetic. Improve how you talk to yourself about your "not in a relationship" status. Instead of the abusive voice that says, look at you, no one wants to be with you, how pathetic you are to have to go the movies alone, remind yourself how strong you are. Most people don't have the strength it takes to completely be with themselves. They need the distraction of the other person to feel comfortable. You are proving you are stronger than the average person.

It's time for Step 3 - Make Future Plans. ​​
  1. Never put your life on hold because you feel you have to be in a relationship first. You and You are in a relationship. What do you two want to do in life? Make a list of things you have been waiting to do.
  2. As you move forward, learn to comfort and encourage yourself with positive words or activities when you need them. Make a list of things you do for yourself that distract you or make you feel better. Begin to use these things to self soothe and bring comfort.
  3. Enjoy your life. As you grow stronger, more confident, more knowledgeable of yourself, more independent, more free from caring what others think, you will spend less time dwelling on your relationship status, and more time enjoying all aspects of life. Take some time and think about your exciting future.




9 Comments
Virginia Reeves
2/26/2017 09:36:19 am

Good points Angie. I have always enjoyed my alone time fortunately. As an avid reader I can enjoy hours by myself. I like walking alone as I generally just let my mind be clear and enjoy being outside. My sport of choice is swimming. We need 'me time' to reset, relax, and rejuvenate.

Reply
Angie
3/6/2017 09:15:35 am

I love that Virginia! Thank you for taking time to share that alone time can be enjoyable!! and thank you for reading the blog and taking time to share your thoughts:)

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Lora link
2/26/2017 10:56:17 am

Love this! All that you say is true! Getting past the fear is the biggest problem. Thank you for your words of encouragement for all to understand life is a process each and every day.

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Marlene link
2/26/2017 12:19:51 pm

After being married for over 57 years, and then losing my husband, I realized how important it was to accept the feelings of aloneness and to be at peace with them. this is plenty uncomfortable, but can be achieved with practice and over time. And then, one can experience the fullness, a little at a time, of one's strengths, that could not have been experienced before. after four years of being alone, I am beginning not to dread coming home to an empty house, but rather think about what I will do when entering the quietness. My grown children and grandchildren express their positive comments about me doing well.

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Angie
3/6/2017 09:18:02 am

You are doing amazing Marlene! this is such a hurdle for women who lose their spouse.. my mom is going through the same thing.. Thank you for reading and taking time to encourage others with your comment!

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gloria christiansen
2/26/2017 05:44:42 pm

Great article, thank you. I am starting to enjoy my life alone, I enjoy my freedom; I invest more time in doing things that are important to me. God and music are by best companions.

Reply
Angie
3/6/2017 09:19:18 am

Thats terrific Gloria! thank you so much for reading and taking time to share encouraging thoughts with others out there in the same boat:)

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Elizabeth Mollner
2/26/2017 08:58:55 pm

Thanks Angie! You gave me an opportunity to realize I am pretty happy most of the time with being alone & when I am not, I have the option of making other choices! Only occasionally, I will question if I am isolating which is an awareness I have had of doing this in the past. Today if I see that is what I might be doing, I make another choice.

Your writing always gives me much to think about and helps me grow spiritually! I appreciate you!!

Reply
Angie
3/6/2017 09:20:34 am

Elizabeth I love your strength and courage and desire to always improve and move forward.. I love and appreciate you:)

Reply



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    Author

    Angie Johnsey is a speaker, author and world-renowned Mind expert. A hypnotherapist and psychiatric nurse by trade, Angie assists clients all over the world to become aware of their mental and emotional patterns, bring clarity and peace to lives that were once full of stress and suffering, and choose the feelings they would like to have to transform their lives. ​

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