by angie johnsey

Are you waking up tired and exhausted before you even start your day? 

Are you pouring all of your energy into your work or projects and finding you are not being reenergized by the joy and excitement of your work?

If you answered yes to either of these questions, there are several things to consider. 
Either your work is not truly fulfilling our you have a re occurring thought that is zapping your energy level. 

One important thing to mention is that it’s not so much what we do that has the potential to fuel and energize us, but how... what we do makes us feel.

​When we are doing work that is truly fulfilling and feel healthy emotionally, we feel energized by that work. Ideas flow. Excitement is generated. If you are not energized and looking forward to your work each day, we need to explore why.

Explore why you are exhausted.

1. Are you depressed? It's unreasonable to expect your work to bring joy and excitement if you are too far down on the emotional scale to reach the higher emotional states of joy and excitement. You will need to look deeper at what reoccurring thought is creating sadness. This is the first step out of sadness and into joy and higher energy levels. If you suspect that you are sad or depressed, then the most we can expect from your work is that it’s a healthy distraction. Joy and excitement are both too far of a reach just yet. The point here is the work you do may not be to blame for your unhappiness and low energy. Depression can also drain your energy and create exhaustion. It's time to find what's really bothering you. However, if you are stable and or happy in your off time, this is a good sign that your work is the source of the exhaustion instead of a separate issue.
2. Do you feel un organized or behind? If yes, this creates stress. If things feel messy or overdue, this can make you want to avoid your work instead of getting excited about it.
3. Are you getting enough rest or "me time"? Real rest is when the mind is allowed to shut down, zone out, unwind. Leave work at work.

How do want to feel as a result of what you do?

1. ​​What makes you feel the best? Think of something you accomplished recently and how it made you feel. Do you like to feel smart, or like an expert? Are you competitive and like to feel like the best at what you do? Do you like to feel accomplished? Do you like to feel like you contributed to society?
2. Whose measuring stick are you using? Are you measuring up according to others or the world? A good clue here is to think about how your parents viewed success. We usually feel the most proud of ourselves and accomplished when we feel we met or exceeded our parents measure of success or what your parents wanted for us. It’s also possible to move away from your parents measure of success and make your own "personal success measuring stick".
3. Do you believe in yourself or what you are doing? When we feel we know what we are doing, we feel confident, proud of our work, and proud of ourselves.

 
​Explore your options.

1. Yes you have options. You are never stuck. Remember you always have a choice. It may take some time, strategy and planning to implement that choice, but you always have one.
2. Research options. Think outside of the box. If you know you should be spending your time in other areas and aren’t using work as an excuse for your unhappiness, ask for advice. Ask others in the same field how they deal with similar work concerns.
3. Make a plan and take action. After you gather you data and advice, begin immediately with your new plan and take steps to put your plan into action. This will create a feeling of moving forward. Knowing there is a light at the end of the tunnel will refill you with fresh hope and excitement.

3 Steps to Being Alone and Happy about it
by angie johnsey

You may read this title and feel hope and resistance at the same time.

Part of you screams, "Yes, I need to know how to do this!"

The other part screams, "but I don't want to be alone. I would rather you tell me how not to be
alone than tell me how to be happy about it."
​

This brings me to Step One - Making peace with being alone.

Before we can make peace with our label of "alone", lets look at the fears that come with this label.

1. What will other people think of me if I don't have someone in my life? None of us want the image of the lonely person who can't find someone or make a relationship work. However, that is all that it is, a false image. People will think what they think, until they move on to other more interesting topics than our lives, but what matters at the end of the day is how you think and feel about yourself. 
2. Who will comfort, protect, or take care of me? You will!!! and it is time that you prove to yourself that you can do this.
3. What if I never have someone to share my life with? We don't know what the future holds. Life is constantly changing. What we do know is that right now, you have the space and opportunity to improve the relationship with the one and only you!

Now that we have addressed those fears,
let's look at Step Two - Beginning your relationship with you.

1. Be grateful for this chapter in your life that is giving you space to become the strongest, best version of yourself without having to care for and give attention to a relationship with another person. Take advantage of this time. Who knows how long it will last.
2. Get to know yourself, what you like, your strengths and weaknesses. A great way to do this is to travel alone or go out to eat, or to the movies alone. If being alone is new to you, this will take courage but is a great way to observe your personal strengths and weaknesses. It is also a great way to get over the fear of what other people think of you.
3. See yourself as strong instead of pathetic. Improve how you talk to yourself about your "not in a relationship" status. Instead of the abusive voice that says, look at you, no one wants to be with you, how pathetic you are to have to go the movies alone, remind yourself how strong you are. Most people don't have the strength it takes to completely be with themselves. They need the distraction of the other person to feel comfortable. You are proving you are stronger than the average person.

It's time for Step 3 - Make Future Plans. ​​

1. Never put your life on hold because you feel you have to be in a relationship first. You and You are in a relationship. What do you two want to do in life? Make a list of things you have been waiting to do.
2. As you move forward, learn to comfort and encourage yourself with positive words or activities when you need them. Make a list of things you do for yourself that distract you or make you feel better. Begin to use these things to self soothe and bring comfort.
3. Enjoy your life. As you grow stronger, more confident, more knowledgeable of yourself, more independent, more free from caring what others think, you will spend less time dwelling on your relationship status, and more time enjoying all aspects of life. Take some time and think about your exciting future.