When your emotionally wounded partner’s insecurities are triggered and they start to punish you with silence, or disrespectful, rude, cold, hateful, angry, shaming behavior, instead of using healthy communication skills and telling you they are upset, I want you to visualize them walking you to the emotional dog house they built just for you.
Now ask yourself, “Why do I quietly and silently keep walking in there and waiting on them to come to their senses and let me out with their apologies?” Why?
Next time, while you are sitting "shutout" in the dog house or the naughty corner because their mind attacked, misunderstood, misinterpreted, jumped to conclusions, overreacted, told lies about you, assumed the worst about you, or whatever else it does when an old wound is triggered, begin thinking about creating a positive change for yourself.
Create your arsenal of healthy dialogue and communication tactics to protect yourself mentally and emotionally.
Begin understanding that you do not deserve this treatment. Even if you had made a mistake and did something that unintentionally hurt them, you still deserve a safe place to explain yourself and apologize, and receive true understanding and forgiveness.
You are a human being. We are not perfect. We all make mistakes. We all deserve kindness and understanding even in the face of mistakes. That’s what you provide for them isn’t it?
We all deserve a safe place to grow stronger in our truth, our openness, our integrity, our respect of self and others.
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Get Your Smile On!
How often do you stop during the day to use your thoughts to PURPOSEFULLY ELEVATE YOUR MOOD?
Never? Well did you know that you could if you wanted to? (I just heard some of your minds say, "whatever, what's the point?")
I won't go into the numerous physical benefits to this. I'm just going to keep it simple. You get to feel better in that moment. That should be enough motivation to put "Get Your Smile On" on your daily calendar.
How do you "Get Your Smile On"?
1. Close Your Eyes
2. Take a Sigh of Relief
3. Find one Simple Thought that feels good to think.
Hint: if you know your mind will spit your fuzzy thought back out because of its high level of resistance, doubt, pessimism, and disbelief..you are going to have to go very general.
When I started, the only pleasant thought my negative mind would let me play with and enjoy was a warm breeze on my face.
It agreed with me that a warm breeze blowing feels good. It's free. It does happen sometimes..so there was no resistance. It allowed it.
I have a whole lot to say about having a mind that is so negative and controlling it won't allow you to choose your own thoughts, or let a feel good thought in, but I won't go there right now.
Let's just find a starting point.
So close your eyes. Let out a sigh. Explore for a minute and find a thought that brings your comfort, peace, relief, or maybe..just maybe starts to pull the corners of your mouth upwards. (oh..you were just tempted to smile weren't you:))
If you want ongoing support to dissolve stored emotional pain and take back control of your life, click link and join the High Vibe Tribe (HVT).
Angie Johnsey is a speaker, author and world-renowned Mind expert. A hypnotherapist and psychiatric nurse by trade, Angie assists clients all over the world to become aware of their mental and emotional patterns, bring clarity and peace to lives that were once full of stress and suffering, and choose the feelings they would like to have to transform their lives.