The mind loves to dwell. It will dwell on any experience. The longer the mind fixates on an experience, whether perceived as good or bad, the more opportunities come for the mind to distort the reality and create stories around the memory. These stories if negative, create pain and mental and emotional suffering.
How can we keep the mind from dwelling or fixating on an experience? We have to keep it moving forward and focused on what is happening in this moment. When we are always focused on this moment, the mind has little time to stop, fixate, create, distort, and suffer. Ask yourself, what is happening right now. What in this moment is happening that is painful. It is possible that a moment could bring physical, mental, or emotional pain, but is it continuous?
If you are flowing with the moment, doesn't whatever is upsetting you, stop at some point. If someone were yelling at you, during the moment they were yelling, you would feel some emotions arising. When they stop yelling, and leave the room, the initial adrenaline and shock of being yelled at begins to fade. The upsetting stimulus has ended. So what keeps us upset for hours afterwards? What keeps us upset, is the mind dwelling and fixating on the event, creating stories, making assumptions about how the other person must think and feel about us.
We can learn to refocus the mind after an upsetting event, preventing it from dwelling. How? In the same way we would calm an upset or hurting child, by shifting their focus on something more pleasant, more fun. Moving them forward to a more enjoyable experience. We naturally know how to do this for others. Now it's time we learn how to do this for our own selves. A.J.
Angie Johnsey is a speaker, author and world-renowned Mind expert. A hypnotherapist and psychiatric nurse by trade, Angie assists clients all over the world to become aware of their mental and emotional patterns, bring clarity and peace to lives that were once full of stress and suffering, and choose the feelings they would like to have to transform their lives.