by: Angie Johnsey
The secret every 9 year old should know...
My 9 year old son plays baseball.. he has been playing almost year around since he was 6.
For the most part, he really loves it and has developed a level of confidence in himself that I know can be attributed to having to be out of his little boy comfort zone at times and learning to trust himself and the split second decision making that baseball requires.
This past Saturday, he and his teammates were in a tournament and lost both games they played, making them ineligible to proceed in the tournament. This was a rare occurrence for this group of Allstars who practice 3 days a week and play almost every weekend.
As he sat in the front seat of my car, he was crying.. not because he lost, but because a coach singled him out and embarrassed him for looking down instead of looking him in the eyes while he and his team mates were being shamed for losing.
Hearing this, I sat there thinking about all of the adults that I work with and how this could easily be the same type of story they would tell me after we spent hours finally getting to the root cause of a lifetime of painful patterns they were now trying to break.
So I said, "Cooper, I'm going to tell you a secret.
This secret is what I have to tell all the adults I talk to in order to help them feel better and stop creating painful life experiences for themselves.
I have to work for hours getting them to reprogram things they believe based off of this single belief they accepted as truth. They started believing it as a kid and then they grow up and act as if this belief is true.
These behaviors are then conducted in front of their own kids, until their children come to the exact same conclusion that these adults did when they were growing up...and on and on the dysfunctional cycle goes.
So Cooper, if you, no matter how the adults in your world treat you, or how other kids who have already accepted this faulty program treat you... if you will never be tricked into believing this one thing, you will never create the destructive patterns that create a life of suffering and struggle.
Instead, what you will create, is a world of beauty that causes you to always feel loved and supported."
"What is it?" he said, with a tearful and now muddy face.
I said, "Never, ever, ever, tell yourself, "something must be wrong with me"... those words are like poison.. and if you start saying it to yourself, you will have the same poison in you that 98% of adults have ingested. They unknowingly try to pass this poison, this disease, to you by acting out of the deep down belief "something must be wrong with me".
Don't fall for it!
If they are yelling and screaming and having a fit, it's because they unknowingly took the poison from some adult in their life who unknowingly passed it down to them.
They have a fault in their program now. This poison makes them anxious, unhappy children in adult bodies, doing behaviors they are embarrassed and ashamed of later. They do all kinds of things to try to make themselves feel better, including taking out their pain on their kids, and people they love, not knowing that this little belief is what is causing all of the pain inside of them and all of the problems outside of them.
They spend their whole lives wondering why they can't control their reactions and behaviors and this is the reason why. They believed "something must be wrong with me" and now, something is. Then one day, when they've had enough, they say, "something is wrong with me, I need help."
The tiny seed of a belief that started the whole sad experience is the very thought that makes them realize they need help.
"Nothing is wrong with you. The problem or faulty program is in them, the ones mistreating people, not you...and it can never be in you unless you start saying to yourself the same thing they did years ago, "something must be wrong with me or else the adults yelling at me or abusing me wouldn't act that way."
If you grow up believing it too, you will be an adult who mistreats people, mistreats yourself, and one who allows others to mistreat you."
So Cooper, what's the secret?"
"Nothing is wrong with me. I'm ok.", he said, seeming very empowered.
I said, " And can you remember it even if people aren't treating you nice, even adults?" "Yes", he said.
"Good", I said... "And if you will never forget it, and never let anyone convince you otherwise, you will have the most amazing and happiest life ever."
I have him repeat the "secret" to me everyday.
Angie Johnsey is a speaker, author and world-renowned Mind expert. A hypnotherapist and psychiatric nurse by trade, Angie assists clients all over the world to become aware of their mental and emotional patterns, bring clarity and peace to lives that were once full of stress and suffering, and choose the feelings they would like to have to transform their lives.