(New Program: I am loved and treated with respect. Others love me and want me in their lives. Others respect me and my decisions. I make healthy adult decisions. I trust myself. I am trusted and respected by others. Others speak to me with love and kindness. I have amazing supportive and loving people in my life and surrounding me daily. I can handle any situation in a calm, adult way. I feel amazing. I love my life. My life is getting better and better every day. I have an amazing perspective about people and situations in my life. I can see people with truth and clarity. My life is beautiful.)
Step 1: Notice if a part of you enjoys this identity. The part of you that enjoys it, is the abusive controlling mind. I see it in sessions all the time. Clients come for help to feel better, but that abusive mind is in total control over them and refuses to let them feel better. It enjoys creating and having the person stew in the feelings that come from being mistreated. These are rich strong emotions and remember, the controlling mind thrives off of these. The feelings of self pity and the honor of being able to tell the mistreatment stories to others to gain sympathy and attention is still too valuable to the controlling mind. This isn't you enjoying these feelings, it's the controlling minds way of feeding and supporting it's faulty program and keeping you stuck in this reality, reliving it over and over.
Step 2: Decide to take your power back. One major sign to me that someone's controlling, abusive mind is in total control, is the mind will have them tell their suffering stories repeatedly. No matter what is said in session, the control of the dysfunctional mind is so strong it blocks them from being able to hear and receive words that may help the person break free. The mind and it's faulty program is too strong and the person is not able to see the need to stand up to this program and change it. They think these are their own thoughts. It has convinced them that they are a victim and powerless to change their experience. This is a lie. Please see, this is not you. You are not being directed by the true functional you. You are being directed by a faulty program and a dysfunctional mind. As long as you continue allowing it to control you instead of the other way around, you will stay here, caught in the faulty program of being and feeling mistreated. See what is happening here and declare NO MORE!
Step 3: Make the mind stop mistreating you. Now that your faulty mind is good and mad at me for helping you see what it is doing, let's decide to change the faulty program from one where others mistreat and abuse you to one where you are loved and respected. This starts with making the mind stop mistreating you with its words. It is constantly mistreating you by telling you that people hate you or dislike you. It mistreats you by making you re live situations and events where you were mistreated. It mistreats you by making you retell your misery and mistreatment stories over and over. It mistreats you by causing separation and discontent with people you love.
Step 4: Set a new functional program that supports you instead of destroys you. Read the new program. Read it daily. It takes time and consistency to change a program. You will feel as though your are lying to yourself here. This is a sign of the resistance of the faulty program. However, the more you read the new program, the more true it will feel. When it begins to feel even a little true, THEN and ONLY THEN will your outer world and experiences begin to change, so keep reading it. You also have to refuse to ever repeat or tell a mistreatment story to anyone ever again. Re telling these old stories, serve to support the faulty program and cancel out the new one before it can even get up and running. A.J.
Disclaimer: If you are being physically abused, then please remove yourself from this situation and seek outside help and support immediately.
Angie Johnsey is a speaker, author and world-renowned Mind expert. A hypnotherapist and psychiatric nurse by trade, Angie assists clients all over the world to become aware of their mental and emotional patterns, bring clarity and peace to lives that were once full of stress and suffering, and choose the feelings they would like to have to transform their lives.