Q. How do I deal with insecurities? They cause me to feel out of control, desperate, and needy, and end up pushing others away.
A. Find out what the child within you is afraid of, and calm her/him down. Keep him/her calm on every topic of your life. This part of you has access to the control panel of your world. When upset, it pushes buttons that create huge messes.
To deal with anything, you must know where it comes from, how it was created, and how to resolve it.
Let's look at where it comes from first.
Insecurities come from the hurt part of you we will call the child. This child which some call the ego, or pain body, is always with you, in the background. If it is not happy or calm, there will be no peace to be found in your experience and your life soon becomes one drama, one problem after the next.
How was the insecurity created.
Insecurities are lies the child believes about it's self, other people, God, or it's world. Someone in your world did or said something to the child, and it began to believe a lie. Now this lie will control your behaviors and your experience until you resolve it.
A few of the more common lies are: I'm not loved, I'm not enough, I'm not wanted, You can't trust others, The world is bad, and numerous misunderstandings and lies around God, what God is, and how God should be.
Once a lie is believed and the child sees this as unfair or unjust, a wound or a faulty program is created...an insecurity/fear.
How to resolve it.
Find the lie and replace it with the truth. That is the simple answer, but there is more to it than that. You must go talk to the child. When feeling insecure or upset, ask the child what is wrong. Don't talk from the intellectual I know how I should think and how I should feel. Talk as if a 7 year old were explaining something that happened. The child would use words such as, it was unfair, and they did this and that and then I got really hurt or mad, etc..Then tell that child, they are right. It was unfair. You are sorry they were treated in such a way, or you were sorry they were told such a thing. ( If you have never had an adult in your life speak to you in this way when you were hurting, you may find this difficult at first. Just keep trying. Sometimes adults use anger instead of compassion. This doesn't heal the hurt, it just shut's it up inside of the child.) Now ask them, what did you start believing because of that event? There is your lie. Let them be angry. When they are finished being angry, then explain it from an adult point of view.
Angie Johnsey is a speaker, author and world-renowned Mind expert. A hypnotherapist and psychiatric nurse by trade, Angie assists clients all over the world to become aware of their mental and emotional patterns, bring clarity and peace to lives that were once full of stress and suffering, and choose the feelings they would like to have to transform their lives.